A New Toilet
I am an ordained pastor in the ELCA. Nearly one year ago I said goodbye to the congregation in suburban Indianapolis where I had pastored for over 7 years. During the pandemic, my wife and I decided to move home to Ohio. Even though I had no job lined up, we felt it was the right move at the right time. We trusted that everything would work out if we took this leap of faith.
My last Sunday at Cross of Grace Lutheran Church in New Palestine, Indiana was a beautiful day. We worshipped outside – our usual during those warm-weather pandemic months. I sang a song, preached a sermon, and presided at the communion table for the last time with that group of people. Following worship, I was presented with several gifts from parishioners and one was the most unique gift that I have ever been given.
A couple from that church handed me a gift bag. I reached in and pulled out a tiny toy plastic toilet. I was speechless. My first thought was that I had terribly offended this couple…that the gift was a symbol of them flushing me from their lives or something like that. They could see the confusion on my face. The woman quickly said with a warm and reassuring voice, “It’s a toilet, like from your sermon.”
This comment only increased my confusion, and frankly, my offense. Sensing that I still wasn’t connecting the dots, she told me that their family’s first visit to that church, several years back, was shortly after I returned from a ministry trip to South Africa. In that sermon, I told the story about the South Africans whose mission was to bring functioning toilets to the residents of the townships (i.e. the segregated, neglected, and purposely marginalized neighborhoods) in Cape Town. That Sunday I asked the congregation, “What’s your toilet?” or, what’s the thing you feel compelled to do for others? In other words, “what’s your purpose?” With tears in her eyes, she told me they decided to become members at Cross of Grace after hearing that message. So, the most obvious gift they could imagine giving me on my last Sunday was a toilet.
What’s your toilet? Apparently, this couple appreciated being encouraged to identify real needs in the community and put their spiritual, emotional, and financial resources towards possible solutions. Apparently, this couple understood that Christian discipleship leads to meaningful service. Apparently, this couple resonated with the idea that one’s life could be fueled by a passion – the more real and the more mundane (like providing functioning toilets to communities), the better.
And that’s precisely what led to the events of that day in the first place. Over several years of ordained ministry, I came to the realization that what I was expected to do as a pastor no longer matched the things that I was passionate about. The last thing I wanted to do was dishonor my church, my God, or myself by just going through the motions as a passionless pastor. It was time to find a new toilet.
In Isaiah 43:19 the prophet proclaims a message from God: “I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”
The idea of God doing new things doesn’t always sound like good news to all people. Some people are not interested in new things. New things involve risk. New things are unknown and can be messy and uncomfortable. New things could replace things you currently have in your life that you are particularly fond of. New things could mean gain, but they could also mean loss.
It’s all a matter of perspective. If things are going well for you, the idea of God doing a new thing could sound threatening. Even if things are not going well for you; if you have a limited imagination and have trouble believing in God’s promises, you might prefer to stick with your current suffering rather than end up in a potentially worse situation.
But for others, the reminder that God is doing a new thing is the good news they’ve been looking for.
This is the story behind the story of Mary pouring the perfume over Jesus’ feet. The gospel storyteller makes it very clear to us that Lazarus is a character in this story and that Lazarus was once dead. Mary, sister to the once-dead man now living, takes an expensive burial perfume and pours it over Jesus’ feet. This is a sweet-smelling way to announce to everyone in the room that Jesus is about to die. It’s also Mary’s way of announcing to everyone in the room that she knows that death is not the end.
You can imagine Jesus and Mary winking at each other as the scent fills the room. The winks silently convey the message they both know is as true and good as anything in the universe: “God is about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”
Fragrance filling the room naturally brings me back to the topic you hoped I had left behind…toilets.
What is your toilet? By that I mean, what is the real and mundane passion in your life that God uses to bring joy, peace, hope, and love to others through you?
My passion was leading a congregation…until it wasn’t. And when I realized it was no longer my passion, I had to say goodbye – a death in many respects. The past year has been a profoundly difficult experience of grief and uncertainty, but I held onto the faith that God was doing a new thing in my life.
The new thing in my life is the realization that my passion and my calling is to have honest and deep conversations with people about life, faith, wisdom, struggle, hope, loss, and any number of other topics anyone wishes to explore with me. Today I engage with that passion by working as a chaplain at The Ohio State University hospitals as well as running a spiritual direction practice, where I meet with individuals for conversation and spiritual companionship.
What is your toilet? What is the real and mundane passion in your life that God uses to bring joy, peace, hope, and love to others through you?
If you know what it is and you’re doing it, I’d love to hear all about it.
If you haven’t figured it out, do you have a sense that it is on its way as God does a new thing in your life?
If you figured it out once yet you’re no longer filled with the same energy and purpose, are you willing to let it die and trust that something new can emerge?
Take a moment and meditate on the new thing God is doing in your life. And I encourage you to ask for God’s guidance and providence as you honor God, others, and yourself, by living into the passion with which God has gifted you.
