Spiritual companionship (also known as spiritual direction) is a relationship in which a trained listener provides a safe, welcoming, and non-anxious presence—listening and helping to orient others to the presence and activity of the divine in their lives. A spiritual companion asks important questions, equips people to tell honest stories, and invites a sense of wonder about the significance of an individual’s emotions and actions.

Spiritual companionship is confidential, supportive, boundary-honoring, non-judgmental, and entirely focused on the one seeking spiritual companionship. Spiritual companionship done well draws attention to divine love and speaks this love into the motivations and assumptions that get expressed in one’s thoughts and behaviors. This discipline differs from therapy or counseling in that it does not attempt to diagnose, solve problems, or treat mental illness. However, spiritual companionship can be a complimentary discipline for those already engaged in therapy.

Human beings are constantly being spiritually formed, though often through processes of which they are consciously unaware. As experiences compile in one’s life, as difficult questions arise but are tamped down, and as certain aspects of life get tucked away without adequate processing or review, they can contribute to a distrust of God and a malformation of one’s spirit. Not sharing vulnerably of one’s life experiences is rooted in shame, which Brené Brown defines as “the fear of disconnection.”*

Spiritual companionship done well permits the healing light of love to shine over a person’s whole life, even those experiences the directee would otherwise ignore or deem too painful to explore. A spiritual companion is entrusted with the holy task of treating an individual as a beloved image-bearer of the divine who is worthy to receive love from the divine and others. Being a safe presence enables the meaningful work of uncovering and addressing fears and assumptions that, if left unattended, would distort one’s vision of the divine.